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How do you decide if your life is worth living?

Michael Kabongo is a British-Congolese teacher living in London on the cusp of two identities. On paper, he seems to have it all - he's loved by his students, popular with his colleagues and enjoys the pride of his mother who emigrated from the Congo. But after he suffers a devastating loss his life is thrown into a tailspin.

Longing to escape, Michael decides to spontaneously pack up and go to America, the mythical 'land of the free,' where he imagines everything will be better, easier - a place where he can become someone new, someone without a past filled with pain. On this transformative journey, Michael travels from New York City to San Francisco, partying with new friends, sparking fleeting romances, and splurging on big adventures.

In the back of his mind, Michael has a plan: follow his dreams until the money runs out, and then he can consider what it means to stay alive...

'Wonderfully tender... Bola's vulnerable, delicate writing conveys so much truth and heart about the quiet pain in our hearts' Nikesh Shukla

'Arresting... Important and emotive... Powerfully raw' Guardian

'I knew from the opening that this book was going to break my heart. Breathless and gripping' Yvonne Battle-Felton

'Heartfelt and searing... Readers will be swept up in the sheer beauty of Bola's writing' The i

Heartfelt and searing... Devastating and insightful... Readers will be swept up in the sheer beauty of Bola's writing